Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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