I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
