seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
