At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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