whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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