i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
