I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize