spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize