WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What a dumb baby whore.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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