Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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