im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
