Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize