She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
