I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
