Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How does one acquire holy water?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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