You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
