She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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