M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
