??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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