Sponge bath it is.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
