cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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