you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
