Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My penis needs a shock collar
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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