i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
nutella sex= disaster
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
