There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
