i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize