??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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