i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
