he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
