At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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