Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I want is dick and wine.
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