oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
