I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
