I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
