matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
