Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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