So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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