I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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