I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
