How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
