Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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