And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
