Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
