Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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