I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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