Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
