I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
