Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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