I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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