Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
