he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
