I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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