hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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