She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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