The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
