I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
