I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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