his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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