week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
