..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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