the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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