i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
