Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
