I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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