Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
