So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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