so explain again why im purple
no
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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