were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
