So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize