Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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