Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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