singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
